I just KNEW this Scientology nonsense sounded familiar

Posted: February 24, 2008 in Daily Rant

terrible.jpgThe Golden Age of Comic Books

The Golden Age of Comic Books was a period in the history of American comic books, generally thought as lasting from the 1930s until late 1940s, during which comic books enjoyed a surge of popularity, the archetype of the superhero was created and defined, and many of the most famous superheroes debuted. The period saw the arrival of the comic book as a mainstream art form, and the defining of the medium’s artistic vocabulary and creative conventions by its first generation of writers, artists, and editors. Doubtless, L. Ron Hubbard was a reader of comic books during this time. This was also the period he began his own work of fiction, called Dianetics … which has been soundly rejected by recognized scientific and medical organizations to this day as Pseudoscience.

The fantastic claims of Hubbard have never achieved ANY general acceptance as a bona fide scientific theory … ZERO. The MEDLINE database ONLY records two independent scientific studies on Dianetics, both of these conducted in the 1950s by the New York University. Harvey Jay Fischer tested Dianetics therapy on the basis of three claims made by proponents and found that it did NOT effect any significant change in intellectual functioning, mathematical ability, or the degree of personality conflicts. Also, Jack Fox tested Hubbard’s thesis about the recall of engrams, with the assistance of the Dianetic Research Foundation, and could not substantiate it. Current practitioners of Dianetics typically believe that charges of pseudoscience are irrelevant, emphasizing that their own experience of the therapy’s “workability” is far more important to them than the imprimatur of official science. Hence, we present the next comic book metaphor.

bizarro.jpgBizarro World

The Bizarro World (also known as Htrae – earth spelled backwards) is a fictional planet in the DC comics universe. Introduced in the early 1960s, Htrae is a cube-shaped planet, home to Bizarro and his companions, all of whom were initially Bizarro versions of Superman, Lois Lane and their children. Later, other Bizarros were created to add to the population including Bizarro Flash, “the Yellow Lantern”, Bizarro-Kltpzyxm and Batzarro, the World’s Worst Detective. Everyone views the Bizarro people as strange and weird … except THEM!

In the Bizarro world of “Htrae,” society is ruled by the Bizarro Code which states “Us do opposite of all Earthly things! Us hate beauty! Us love ugliness! Is big crime to make anything perfect on Bizarro World!”. In one episode, for example, a salesman is doing a brisk trade selling Bizarro bonds: “Guaranteed to lose money for you”. Later, the mayor appoints Bizarro #1 to investigate a crime, “Because you are stupider than the entire Bizarro police force put together”. This is intended and taken as a great compliment. And now, after just a few paragraphs of explanation, you understand precisely what Scientology is all about.

We will now move on to more advanced knowledge, deeper into the archives to visit a tale that is older than man himself … and please be careful: having this knowledge could kill you if you are not already a “believer.”

guardians1.jpgGuardians of the Universe

The Guardians evolved on the planet Maltus, and were among the first intelligent life forms in the universe. At this time they were tall greyish blue humanoids with black hair. They became scientists and thinkers, experimenting on the worlds around them. One experiment led to the creation of a new species, the Psions. In a pivotal moment, billions of years ago, a Maltusian named Krona used time-bending technology to observe the beginning of the Universe. This experiment flooded the beginning of the Universe with entropy causing it “to be born old”. (This is a retcon; originally, the experiment created evil, and splintered the Universe into the Multiverse).

Feeling responsible for this, the evolved Maltusians relocated to the planet Oa (at “the center of the Universe”) and became the Guardians. Their goal was simple: combat evil and create an orderly universe. And they acted quickly on that goal. During this period they also changed to their current appearance. They serve as the administrators of the Green Lantern Corps, an interstellar police force which patrols the universe.

So now you know.

l-ron2.jpgBut wait … there’s MORE! What you didn’t know is that comic book characters are deeply religious. That’s right! These are characters who go beyond simply exhibiting positive religious values, charity and heroism, but who openly exhibit religiosity tied to an organized religious affiliation, through prayer, verbally sharing their faith, worship service attendance, and other means. And this INCLUDES Scientologist comic characters … Ling-Ling is one, but my favorite is L-Ron. He is the perfect metaphor for the followers of this so-called religion … for L-Ron is a ROBOT.

The authors of the above site are unaware of any instance in which the robot L-Ron has overtly stated that he is a Scientologist. This classification is based primarily on his name. The character is used primarily as comic relief. Perhaps writers Keith Giffen & J.M. DeMatties, the creators of the “L-Ron” character thought that the robot’s sardonic and ingratiating behavior reflected their concept of how Scientologists behave. Or perhaps they just thought it was funny to name a robot after L. Ron Hubbard. Given the fact that L-Ron is a very science fictional character – a robot from a space-faring culture, the character’s name may simply be an homage to a popular science fiction writer.

Don’t miss our next exciting episode of … Scionautics — The Revenge of the Ocean People. Hey, what a great idea for a new web domain name (SCIONAUTICS.COM – it’s available – act now and maybe you can start your own religion).

Advertisements
Comments
  1. d says:

    That was both illuminating and amusing. Too bad L.Ron got greedy and decided to take his mediocre Sci-Fi writing to a new plane, he might have been more highly regarded as a writer, than he is as a dangerous cult leader.

    Choices people, they matter.

    Great job Pseudo-Man!

    Like

  2. […] I just KNEW this Scientology nonsense sounded familiar [image]The Golden Age of Comic Books The Golden Age of Comic Books was a period in the history of American comic books, […] […]

    Like

  3. Chuck Beatty says:

    One day when L. Ron Hubbard’s final years private despatches and several of his “church” training movies, make it into the public domain, we’ll see some amazing blending of science fiction and Scientology’s theology. For instance, with the leaking of various films of Tom Cruise’s antics behind closed doors in Scientology circumstances, there is the training film, starring Isaac Hayes, called “Why TRs?”. In this Scientology training film, Isaac stands aboard a huge floating disc platform in space, wearing a cosmic multi-colored cape and cool looking multi-colored glistening hat, and he has a powerful telescope and video screen to view ANY planet/civilization in the whole universe, as he narrates Hubbard’s scripted lessons to the Scientology “Class 6” spiritual counselor trainees. This film is ONLY for Class 6 counselors (called auditors in Scientolgogese), and Isaac delivers Hubbard’s highest level lessons. One lesson is that the Class 6 counselors will someday find themselves on other planets, as the sole people to further disseminate Hubbard’s earthly Scientology teachings, and that the Class 6s better remember certain lessons really well! The Isaac Hayes Scientology church training film is a MUST SEE, if people can somehow manage to talk their way into a Scientology organization and somehow get a chance to see it. Science fiction meets Scientology theology in the Isaac Hayes Scientology training film.
    – Chuck Beatty (ex lifetime staffer, Scientology movement, 1975-2003, Pittsburgh, USA 412-260-1170,

    Like

  4. […] https://pseudoscientology.wordpress.com/2008/02/24/i-just-knew-this-scientology-nonsense-sounded-fami…Also, Jack Fox tested Hubbard’s thesis about the recall of engrams, with the assistance of the Dianetic Research Foundation, and could not substantiate it. Current practitioners of Dianetics typically believe that charges of … […]

    Like

  5. […] https://pseudoscientology.wordpress.com/2008/02/24/i-just-knew-this-scientology-nonsense-sounded-fami…Also, Jack Fox tested Hubbard’s thesis about the recall of engrams, with the assistance of the Dianetic Research Foundation, and could not substantiate it. Current practitioners of Dianetics typically believe that charges of … […]

    Like

  6. […] https://pseudoscientology.wordpress.com/2008/02/24/i-just-knew-this-scientology-nonsense-sounded-fami…Also, Jack Fox tested Hubbard’s thesis about the recall of engrams, with the assistance of the Dianetic Research Foundation, and could not substantiate it. mythbusters dvd Current practitioners of Dianetics typically believe that charges of … […]

    Like

  7. […] https://pseudoscientology.wordpress.com/2008/02/24/i-just-knew-this-scientology-nonsense-sounded-fami…Also, Jack Fox tested Hubbard’s thesis about the recall of engrams, with the assistance of the Dianetic Research Foundation, and could not substantiate it. Current practitioners of Dianetics typically believe that charges of … […]

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s