PseudoScientology

My mind is simply a blur of creative vision tonight. I’m thinking of how the Church of Scientology could make a quantum leap in membership if they would just pop for top of the line agencies like BBDO, JWT or Ogilvy & Mather for their advertising campaigns. Think of the possibilities…

SO SIMPLE A CAVEMAN COULD DO IT
(the alternative to Tom Cruise on, Tom Cruise off)
Look people, it’s not like I’m the at the top of the food chain or anything but let’s face it … everybody’s got a little behavioral problem. I mean, like I was actually a caveman before Scientology. I was one giant engram on a stick. Now look at me … great job, nice apartment, fast car — I’m on the bridge and moving forward. And I really don’t want to sound condescending, but you know, if you’re not IN … you’re like OUT. Do you hear what I’m sayin?

LIFE TAKES VISA …
Modern life is moving so fast it’s almost a blur at times. So is moving along the Bridge To Total Freedom, and when you face that Wall of Fire, you don’t want to be slowed down by just any credit card for … you want to pay as quickly and efficiently as possible. LIFE TAKES VISA.